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MaRyJaNe . . . Usok ng Kahinaan

padayukdok na ilalapit
ng eratiko’t nanginginig n’yang kamay
upang buong kasiyahang ipaglunoy
sa nanunuyong lalamunan.

hitit…

buga…

hitit at buga pa…

baka-sakaling itakas siya
ng laway na nilulunok
palayo sa kasukalan ng bagabag…
sa pusali ng walang katapusang pagsubok.

hakbang papalayo
ang bawa’t hitit…
ang bawat lunok…
ang bawat buga pailanlang
ng kumekembot, humalakhak na sungayang usok.

kakapit siyang nakangiti pa-lipad sa alapaap.
makikipagtawanan sa mga bituin.
ihahanap ng kagaanan
ang samu’t saring tinik sa damdamin.

paulit-ulit…
palipat-lipat…
pahalakhak niyang isasakay ang kanyang ulirat
sa nagsasalubungang ulap.
kakatagpuin ang sarili
sa hiwalay na mundong nais nyang likhain.

at sa mapungay at kulay-dugong mata…
pakunwaring magtatago at tatakas
ang luray niyang katawan na naghahanap ng laya
upang gulantangin lamang ng katotohanang
itatambad ng kunot-noong araw…

sa kanyang paggising

sarili pala niyang mga kamay ang kanyang iginapos…

sa usok ng kanyang kahinaan.

Bedspacer Sa Buwan

Kasabay kong umuuwi
Ang mga pundidong alitaptap.
Diyan kami galing madalas
Sa The Fort, naglalambitin
Sa kalansay ng mga ginagawang
Gusali ni Ayala-Zobel,
Humihiga sa nangingiliting
Dilim na nakasingit sa damuhan,
Lumalanghap sa hamog
Ng tambutso at karbon
Ng mga paniking
Haypertensib.

Lahat ay umiilaw sa aking yakap
Habang kadantay ang mga ukab
Sa kamang kulang na ng isang paa.
Hindi naman ako gumugulong sa lapag
Kahit pa sobrang tingkad ng mga ipis.
Pagkat nagniningning ako sa gitna
Ng malaking kreyter ng bumbilya,
Nanghihiram ng liwanag
Upang kahit papaano
Ay bumalanse ang munti
Kong kislap: nagpapanatiling
Gising habang tulog lahat
Ng bituin sa natutunaw
Na tsokolate ng
Aking kisame.

LUst IS YOur Last

I the angry and the desperate
Never have you till then
You made your self-close

You intimidator
Make me desperate
Provoking, hatred

Selfish hoodwink
You only heed for what you feel

As I show my existence
You never care what it was

What kind of mortal are you?
You evildoer, monster at my bed
You are the great nightmare of my life

You bring me self-pity
As you know that am craving for you
You put your self on forward

Never thinking I was there
You only see me through out your
dilemma

I hate you
Finest word to say

I hate you
My body is on tremor
Angry, slowly coating my soul

My teeth gnashing
Coz of pain you've left

Speechless
No sounds
Heart palpitate
Reminding me that am still breathing

This will be kept
As I know you


Sorry…

Pag-ibig ni Batman

Hindi ako kasing tapang ng bayani o Superhero
Wala akong lakas ng loob upang lumaban
Kung tutuusin duwag din ako't walang kapangyarihan
Birtud ko lamang ay ang aking dasal
At pakikidaumpalad sa pagal kong
kaluluwang lumilipad sa kawalan,
Nanghuhuli ng pigtal na bituin
Ngunit walang ibang makita kundi lambong
ng mga ulap
habang nakamasid ang pingas na buwan,
habang kinakapa sa kaibuturan ng dibdib
ang damdaming dito ay nakasilid
Ibig mang pakawalan ay walang magawa
Ngunit bukas babangon
ako't magbabagong bihis
Pag-ibig ay sasambulat sa iyong harapan
Tuad ng pagsamvbulat ng dugo't laman
'Pagkat damdamin ay 'di maikukubli
Ng hungkag na pagkukunwaring
'di kita mahal
Kung ibigin mo man ako o hindi
ay bahala na si Batman!

...backspace...

Iniib < . . .
…iniiba na lang ang usapan pag kaharap ka na.
laging ganun...lalo na ‘pag sukol na talaga
ng mga titig mo ang namumungay kong mata…

Inii < . . .
….iniimbento na lang ang mga dahilan
ang mga pakunwaring paalam na may pupuntahan.
kathang-isip na kwento sa syotang hindi naman,
at text messages na pinapadala sa sarili na lang.
(di mai-send sa’yo, sa takot na iyong pagtawanan)

Iniibig k < . . .
…iniibig ko ang Pilipinas, ito ang aking lupang sinilangan…
(blah…blah...blah….et cetera…et cetera…)
tumalsik na lang sana ang sa keyboard ko,
para masabi ko ng diretso ang laman ng dibdib ko!

… di ako maka-< Esc > sa feelings ko
… di kita ma-< Delete > sa puso ko.

ang tanong sa kanila-freeverse

ang bagal ng buhay
bawat minuto ramdam
ihip ng hangin, mga ibon at awitin.
mga letrang nasa mata lamang nakatatak
galing sa ibat ibang tanawin
sariling hinga ng buhay naagda
anu pa nga ba ang dapat makita?
upang sa titik ito'y iukit.
ako, tayo madaling makakita..
panu ang ibang taong mababaw ang paniniwala
sa letra man o titik na nakahibla
dapat ko bang ipinta
bawat salita na aking nadadama?
kung maari lamang kasama sa panulat ay pintura
kung saan lalabas litratong buhay at di nabubura
kung ganun sana lahat ay may paniniwala
sa simpleng letra masasabi nila" ito ay maganda".

STORY OF A ONE MAN

A story:
One day there was this man
He was all alone in the world he created for himself and to none
He plan his world out from his great imagination
He created it as if he is the god
He planted joys of trees and everything from it
Along with the creatures from above of heaven to the waters of ocean
Then he made rocks and riches of lone

It was a perfect world…

He wanders
From the vast’ness of the his lands
His sands
His oceans
His all
His creation

And so he got tired
How deeply it was he got tired.. he felt it..
It was coming from inside
Not from his skin
Nor from his heavens
He thought of it as a conflict of his being
He struggle to live
He struggle until he was numb

He was numb and back again
Blood from him
He was a thirst of blood suckers of death eaters

He seeks for something
He cannot knows it
Until he would gone wandering and wonder was his being
He floats himself to the skies
He grasp the sand to his hands
He eats the foods in the lands
Tasted the bitterness of oceans
From the lake of waters
There he saw..finally he saw
This is isn’t me I know
From the reflection he speaks
I need you”
From reflection it answers
Come seek me to come to you”
From there he draws
A figure of a person..
A creation to perfectly being
Now his not one to see

The lady awoke
From where was i?”
The man answers, from my heart you were
And you need me?
I do not..
And why do I came
I do not know..

He can’t for he doesn’t know
The answers to his own question
It was his creation
Yet the formula wasn’t that magically answers everything
Yes he holds power to create
but out of everything from him
is an unknown things
and he cant know and he doesn’t know

..from his feelings to inner skins
He felt sudden sadness
Bitterness
Eyes were sober of fox
From the sand to the air
It flew
It whispers to him
Grasp me now
To his soul it aims
He felt it

..just like the air,,,he created it but not to feel..
But you see he felt..

He felt it..
And now..

Ah I know now..
I feel..
I seek
I need
I ask
I am..

And so I need you lady
I need you..

..he folds his hand to hers
Can you feel the warmth?..

That’s the answer to everything..

Then he found his another, a part of his being.a partner.
-end-

...ang umiibig na puso...

gagap ng puso
maging ang pinakamalalim na mga talinhaga.

damdamin mang di maibulalas
na sa dibdib ay nag-uumalpas,
di man ito kayang sambitin ng nauumid na dila,
sapat na sa kanya ang malalalim na buntung-hininga.

nararamdaman ng puso
ang mga pahiwatig ng katugong-puso
pagkat sa kanya lamang ito nakikinig.
di kailangang bigkasin ang anumang kataga,
sapat na ang mga nagsusumamong luha
upang maintindihan ang iniluluhog
ng isang pusong sumasamba.

nauunawaan ng puso
ang mga dalamhati ng kapwa-puso
dinudugtungan nito maging ang nalalabing tibok
ng isang pusong naghihingalo at nagdurugo…

sinasagip ng kanyang pag-ibig mula sa pagkalunod
maging ang ligaw na damdaming nagtalusira.
pagkat dakila at walang hanggang unawa ang
kaya nitong padaluyin mula sa kanyang kaibuturan.

maging ang sarili nitong tibok,
kayang sikilin…
kayang supilin.

dahil gagap ng puso…

ramdam ng puso…

nauunawaan ng puso…

kung ano ang ibig sabihin
ng isang wagas na pag-ibig.

HOW DOES A LOVE BREATHED?...

Maybe its like the air that blows
Flows on every morning

Maybe its like the water
That slowly dropping

Like the rain
Liquid then on the earth it is kissing

Ocean
Like those bluish wonders

Maybe the clouds
That are soft and with amazing color

Red maybe
Where those mountains are full of colors, like red

Its nonsense maybe
To say all this

But to describe an angel of love
Of a goddess

What does it takes of words?
Even I can’t imagine how great that to even stroke of words was

Of letters of anything to imagine a goddess breathens’
I’m guessing its when she walks

When she that lady of goddess sits besides me
And the air was playfully speaking to see

To words they are forming
From her hair to her skin

To her eyes
To her skin

To her simplicity
Their I saw it within her I know


It was when she just looks at all things for her to see
When she simply she

Another was when that lady
Brown on her skin

She was lovely
She breaths like heaven too

But far it is to see
To imagine it would be that so low to say for sake of this

But today it was that air to her hair
That one beauty

She breaths like so lovely purely
An angel like from the heaven wand like

Wand like from a magical site
Her smell was like new

Fresh and cold
Green and so much of sense to unfold

Maybe she was from the mountain of pureness
That never on this land could sense that one

That one, that lady with angel like one
She was the first one was simply standing

And by far I am I could see to her eyes
Her eyes was speaking like, watch me as I breathe within this eyes of mine

Then it was there on bold she breaths like that
Like the morning drops and a sun shine

Like a fresh rain
Where she was speaking and from there she was simply her

Being her was when she breathed
Simple yet soundly

Fresh and purely
Like the green


Where those green grasses are being froze
By a one moment of rain

From heaven
Where she was the goddess of rain

Then this lady another beauty
She was walking towards where she might be

Her hair was flowing
From there the air was to my sight talking

I am breathing
With this flow I am glowing

From there I’d sense her’
It was her hair

That smells of her air to the air
That how she was when she does, that lady.

Another lady a kind of goddess that are wanting to flee
Flew away high maybe

To wander to any sight
Or just simply to get or wanting a attention from any passer by or lookers stand by

That lady simple another simple kind
Yet her smell of her hair

Or maybe from her fresh perfume
It was there when that certain smells finally float to the air from the air cold of that place

Place on such it was on the circle of everything
Where everyone was busy doing their own things

And I was there doing mine
Rational to say, straight, logic and all that to anyone just to belong to rhyme

Where everything is moving and her I simply see that
Those smell that sense of her from moving to one

To one to anyone
To maybe get that smell of her which is on the colorless air was on the run


Confusing these words is now
But that moment that certain happening was deep and hard to say for a line of how’s

And I know it’s her
When she does that, it simply sense

I sense
To the air

They sense
To her eyes I sense

To her movements
I sense to anyone to movements

To motions
To anything I sense

Sometimes it is really insane
Or to say out of her out of explanations for one to understand

But it’s something a part of therapy of science for my kind
Or whatever this is, its my own breathed and that I breathe

A part of that breathing is remembering
Like right now I am thinking

Of one lady,
To think, whom I love now, not on my blood

But to a romance kind
Whom I love?

I can’t figure out
But I am thinking

I am left behind
I breathed, but I am a little out of it

I am on the past thinking
This world has a lot of beauty for a romance

So to say who, I’m in love for a romance
I love every human kind eye


Yes I love every eye I’ve seen
To where they are talking

But to be specific I am in love with whom to run?
These lines are far to granted my own wishful wish line

I am not the one; I lose my breathing on this one
To go back tomorrow maybe to her I would see

That goddess
To know how is she

How was she
That white pure beauty

A more than words to see
A more than words to flat on any surface to write

A more than this
A more than the magical thoughts I could ever sense or deep think

A more than this
More than any letter to start to begin with

To say ah that’s how an angel breathed
And today this lady has on my sight talks about new fresh air

On which she was on the yellow beauty
Wearing those from her skin

Beauty and eyes
As if it was talking to my sight

She voices her words
and spoke for a quite time to count how

looking at her was like looking to my own eyes
simply she was very kind, her beauty was like the one whose dancing

on those of top mountains
where she was trying to come down to the desert and be alone but with someone else

and in about two or three few split words there
I’ve known, I’d felt it was her she was simple yet more

Pretty I say and breathed of an angel one like
Wanting to float to that high on those of clouds above from heavens above


The other were mist I saw
That beauty were my eyes stuck into

That one lady she has that eyes of unique kind
She smiles with her white teeth and it was plain yet

Yet it was moving
It felt like I was walking in a moon

Where there were plain of green
And her on the other side of that

On earth she was living
Then this lady with those eyes with the skin of a cared most

Gentle on looking
Yet her eyes were talking

And on the books she was finding
She was simply looking for something

But her, seeing her there
On that place sitting

And was there that beauty
It was like from far I could hear her beating

Of her heart that is beating or pumping of blood
Then breath to her nose

Then her is so lovely simple and lovely
Just like the one passer by lady

With smell like I cannot find
Or sense I might

It was again like the mountain top
That smell of her of her breathed was like

And now, I remember the one who’s sitting behind me
The pink lady


But I cant I can’t write deep linings to that simple yet tempting beauty
To know her breathing is to like her in a way of knowing

So I would rather choose to stay at the front and guess at her
And she, she was always there, simple as her

I know that lady has more of what I see
Even on sense it is plenty

She is simple a quite kind
One that is made to stay is, above that breezy air of the greens

And it is lovely to know them for a day
To see them to hear them those are moving gracing thing

That whenever I see them
I could always say “ I know that lady and yes she breathed like this to me”

And now I would probably know
How it was, how it is, how it is now to see and gaze

That beauty, that beauty that only happens
When one breathe she could, and she did, she breathed

Breathed like something like those of the air
That keeps on flowing, or gracing even dancing, call it whatever you want to be

As long as it is moving
Then there that lady, breathing, and breathe

That’s how she is
When she breathed

Luha't Ulan

Linisan mo ang mundo
Sa iba’t ibang dumi nito
Na tao ang may gawa.

Ibuhos mo ang lahat
Walang itira sa sarili
Malay mo, magkaroon
Ng pag-asa sa pag-tila.

Mali, maling mali.

Luha mo iyon na
Dala ng pighati.
Tumutulong ka na
Sa paglilinis ng mundo
Ibabalik pa ay dumi.

The World of Lovers

She walks to the earth that very fine morning
Her hair were flowing to the air, as she was moving

Her graceful body stroke as she was approaching
Her eyes suddenly becomes glooming, shining, and to me was whispering

‘Twas like her soul is saying “I’m a lady with soul so freely, love me and be my forever’s thee”
To my soul hearing and to my heart it was shouting

And there every breathe, every air is her name, saying
From a blood to the veins that was moving, to the heart it keeps flowing.


When she spoke, slowly her mouth was like the sun that’s on earth is kissing
And her words is the one who is under, touching, like a sun that is raising


She moves her hands as she was taking
Something out from my sightings;

It was like a heaven that is leaving
Leaving the earth and gives a sun a big hugging

Romantic is it to see, both planets are such lovely
After all two lovers are living in separate worlds, called beauty

Left over Love

Why does it have to be love again?
That always and always be a reasons for everything

For every move you’ll do, there it is your mind that thinks of one true
One step, would lead you back from start where you first saw her beauty that rest

One step forward, would make you think of love of the future
On how would it be, is their a possibility? To be with one beauty

One thing to accomplish is something a pride of her name
One thing to be ashamed is one hateful desire of shame

Always seeks for a love to win to be on fame
Of a love of a center to be again running all over again, all lame

It’s like a repeating process of illness wicked mind
Make you fall, got beaten down, and now your broken?

That’s a shame, unfair and your blood it will drain
And leaves you only asking for a question, why? Nothing to you will remain.

Ang Pag-ibig ng Makata

Ang pag-ibig ng makata ay matalinghaga
Kasing lalim ng kinakatha n'yang tula
Kapag nangusap pihong manunuot sa diwa
Pag-iisipan nang husto bago maunawa.

Ang pag-ibig ng makata ay 'di manggang hilaw
Na sa alamang at bagoong isinasawsaw
Hinog na hinog na ito at napakadilaw
Matamis sa panlasa't walang makakasapaw.

Ang pag-ibig ng makata ay abot hanggang langit
Mahirap matanaw kahit titigan mang pilit
Ngunit kasama lang pala at 'di nawawaglit
Pag-ibig niya ay walang katapusang awit.

Makata'y walang tumatagingting na salapi
'Di tulad ng iba yaman ipinamamarali
Ang kaya lang maialay ay tulang hinabi
Ngunit sa puso'y naghahatid ng luwalhati.

Ang damdamin n'ya'y dagat na nag-aalimpuyo
Tila pagsalpok ng alon na ayaw huminto
'Di ito tulad ng ambon na pabugso-bugso
Dumadaan lang sandali sabay maglalaho.

Sa pag-ibig ng makata ikaw'y makakaasa
Matapat ang pagtingin gaya sa kanyang musa
Habambuhay na nasa puso't inaalala
Walang pagkakupas, nagmamahal sa tuwina.

Kung iibig ka rin lang makata ang piliin
'Pagkat mabuti't malinis ang kanyang hangarin
Sa bawat sandali ikaw lang ang iisipin
Ang pag-ibig n'ya sa iyo ay laging papaksain...

One Glance

One look and that has changed everything
All turned magic and amazing

Her beauty has changed the world of mine
Where now it turned purple solemn kind

Used to have echoes on the walls
Colors of the earth’s surface that I call floors

But now there is singing
And dancing, colors turned rainbow alive and playing

Used to have plain imagination that playfully gathers my emotion
And thoughts of tomorrows are simple and plain

Now there is a picture out of that thinking
Where she is a center of everything

The days are common
With things to be getting to move on

Then now it is so new and something’
Like what is it that I must for thee be doing?

To make her see
That I’m right here standing freely

Used to have mornings and nights of common
Now there is a dream where sun eats the moon

And put up a big fire icing romance
Where only both of us are in holding and dancin’

Use to have trees that is green with brown linings
Turned out that it too has a bone and moving

It’s all alive, could feel it’s all moving
With one glance all that I used to have has gone changing.

Lamentasyon para sa Hangin

Hindi ka nila kailanman hiniling…
nguni’t nariyan ka sa kanilang piling.

Nalulugod sila sa indak at sayaw
ng luntiang dahong nangaglambitin
sa mga sanga ng punong nagbibigay lilim.

Nakangiti nilang hinahagkan
ang mga talulot ng rosas na namumukadkad.
pinipitas nila ang mga ito sa kanilang hardin
upang gawing adorno sa kanilang mga buhok.

Nguni’t batid ba nila ang misteryong bumabalot
sa bawa’t indak ng luntiang dahon at rosas
na pumapawi sa kanilang lungkot?

Ramdam ba nila ang iyong mga himutok?

Inawitan nila ang luntiang dahon.
Ipinaghele sa pagmamahal ang mga bulaklak.
Ngunit hindi ikaw….
kailanman ay hindi ikaw.

Ikaw na nasa likod ng bawa’t indak at sayaw
ng mga daho’t bulaklak na marahan mong hinihipan
upang magsabog ng karikta’t halimuyak ….
na humahalina sa kanila’t nagbibigay galak.

Ikaw na kanilang nilalason…

Ikaw na hangin.

hikab

hikab....
nagpapatianod at pagduduyan
ng pagkatulala at
pagod...

hikab ulit...
mga matang hapdi sa pagkusot
at pumula sa pagpipilit
na pagbasa ng luha...

hikab pa...
kinulang sa paghinga
pati ang pag-alala
sa iyo kinapos
dahil gusto ng mapagod....

isa pa...
huwag masyadong ipilit,
mananakit ang sentido ,
di kasya ang nalalabing sentimo
bukas na lang ulit
tulog muna ako...

xuan

nakakita ako ng paro-paro
binulag ako
wala naman siyang pak-pak
lumipad siyang palayo...

nakikita ko siya
kasama ni bubuyog
akbay ng matamis na ngiti,
na humiwa sa puso
hindi dumugo,
pero nabulag ako
ng paro parong walang pakpak
pero lumipad palayo...

kayat
kahit bulag ako
pinagmamasdan kita,
nakikita...
habang papalayo ka....

Ikaw at Ako: Isang Monologo

May bumubulusok na bulalakaw!
*Saluhin mo!*
*Huwag!Pagmasdan mo na lang!*
*Sige sundan mo lang ng tanaw at pagkatapos ay puntahan mo kung saan bumagsak.*
*Naalala mo yung panday?Baka maging ganun ang kapalaran mo!*
*Ah,bahala na!Hintayin mo na nga lang bumagsak.*
*Sandali asan na nga ba?*

Naguguluhan na talaga ako.Nitong mga nagdaang araw ay napakaraming tanong ang naglalaro sa isip ko.May nagbabasketbol,may nagtetennis,may nagjajackstone,may nagsusungka,at...at...at hindi ko na maalala dahil sa sobrang dami.Pero tanggap ko naman lahat yun eh.Ang hindi ko lang talaga magustuhan ay yung may maglalaro ng cara y cruz sa utak ko!Bwisit na buhay to!

AKO: Ano yang pinakikinggan mo?
IKAW: Musika!
AKO: Alam ko!Pilosopo!
IKAW: Alam mo pala nagtatanong ka pa!Bobo!

*Yan ang mahirap minsan,alam na nga ang ginagawa eh nagtatanong pa.Tsk tsk tsk!*

AKO: Alam kong musika yan,pero bakit punebre?
IKAW: Eh sa ito ang gusto ko eh!Trip trip lang yan.
AKO: Baliw ka ba?
IKAW: Wag mo nang itanong.
AKO: Masama bang magtanong?
IKAW: Nagtatanong ka nanaman.
AKO: Bakit,masama nga ba?
IKAW: Bawal magtanong dito!Basahin mo yung karatula.
AKO: (lingon sa itinuro)Huh?

(BABALA:BAWAL ANG INOSENTE DITO.BAWAL MAGTANONG!)

AKO: Oo nga!
IKAW: Ayan maliwanag na sayo.
AKO: Asan nga ba ako?
IKAW: %$&^**($%#$&*^ mo!Bawal nga magtanong!

*Minsan talaga mahirap magpaliwanag.Mapapamura ka na lang dahil sa kakulitan ng taong kausap mo.Mahirap nga bang sumunod sa mga simpleng panuntunin?*

NO SMOKING

Kanina pa ako nag-aabang ng masasakyan.Kanina pa rin ako pinagpapawisan at bwisit na bwisit na dahil malelate nanaman ako sa usapan namin ng girlfriend ko.Napatingin ako sa relong pangbisig.Shit,alas otso na!Late na ako ng 25 minutes pero andito pa rin ako.

May dumaang batang nagtitinda ng yosi at dyaryo.Tinawag ko at bumili ng isang stick na marlboro.Napamaang ako sa nasulyapan kong headline sa dyaryo: TRANSPORT GROUPS,NAGLUNSAD NG STRIKE.

Waaaa!Bwisit talaga!Bakit ba kasi hindi ako nagbasa ng dyaryo kaninang umaga pagkagising.Naiipit tuloy ako ngayon sa dami ng problema.Pati problema ng Pilipinas pinapasan ko na.Anak ng kamote naman oh!Makapagyosi na nga lang.

Nasa akma ko nang sisindihan ang yosi ng may dumating na jeep.Ayos!Thanks Jesus!Natawag ko na yata lahat nang santo sa mga sandaling yon.

Siksikan sa loob ng dyip.Pero wala yatang pakialam ang mga pasahero sa isa't isa.Sa gawing dulo may isang estudyante na nakikinig ng music sa kanyang i-pod.Gumigitara pa habang isinasabay ang ulo sa tugtog.Sa katabi ko may mamang kakaiba ang amoy!Shit!Kapag minamalas ka nga naman uli oh!Bakit dito pa ako natabi?Wala na akong magagawa kundi magtakip ng ilong.

Sa tantya ko eh 20 katao lang ang pwedeng maisakay sa dyip na ito pero tila mahigit pa kami sa singkwenta.Nagmistula kaming sardinas.Made in portugal(waha!nakuha ko pang magbiro).Kinilatis ko isa-isa ang sakay.May mag syotang dikit na dikit sa isa't isa(putsa,naalala ko girfriend ko.Nandun pa kaya yun sa tagpuan namin?),may natutulog,may magkumareng nagtsitsismisan,may lolong may hawak na panabong.Pero ang naging sentro ng paningin ko ay yung mamang kaharap ko at nagyoyosi habang sa tabi niya ay may matandang babaeng ubo nang ubo!

Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa lalaking naninigarilyo at sa matandang hirap sa pag-ubo.Shit naman,tila walang pakiramdam ang mamang ito ah?Ubo na nga nang ubo yung katabi hindi pa itapon yung yosing hawak.

Maglalakas-loob na sana akong sawayin yung mama nang bigalang pumreno ang dyip,sabay sabi ng mamang tsuper:"Flat tayo,napako siguro yung gulong.Lipat na lang po kayo sa ibang dyip."

Anak ng kwagong tsinito naman oh!Para akong pagdidiliman ng paningin ng mga sandaling yon.Wala na nga akong magagawa.Binunot ko sa bulsa ang yosing binili ko kanina at sinindihan nang lapitan ako ng isang sekyu.

"Sir,bawal ho manigarilyo dito.

Saka ko lang napansin na nasa harap pala ako ng gasoline station.


BWISIT!!!

AKO: Aalis na ako.
IKAW: Hindi pwede.
AKO: Bakit naman?
IKAW: Nagtatanong ka naman.
AKO: Bakit nga hindi ako pwedeng umalis?
IKAW: Isang tanong mo na lang may mangyayari na sayo.
AKO: Hindi ako pwedeng umalis.
IKAW: Yan!Ganyan nga!
AKO: Hindi ako pwedeng umalis dito.
IKAW: Hindi ka pwedeng umalis dahil ikaw ay ako.
AKO: Ako ay ikaw?
IKAW: Binalaan na kitang huwag ka nang magtatanong.
AKO: Ako ay ikaw?Paanong nangyari?
IKAW: Bilang kaparusahan,mababaliw ka!Kakausapin mo sarili mo habambuhay!
AKO: Hindi maaaring ikaw ay ako!Ako ay ikaw!Ikaw ay ako!Hindi ako baliw!Hindi ako baliw!

HINDI AKO BALIW!

Tapos na ba?

Teorya

Mataman nating pinagmamasdan ang dagat.
Sinusukat ng tingin ang agwat ng alon sa isa't isa.
Inililista sa tubig ang mga kalkulasyon.

Namumuhay tayo sa gitna ng pagbabakasakali.
Minsan nilulusong natin ito.
Sinisikap arukin ang pagitan ng oo at hindi;
Ang hindi mapunuang puwang ng marahil.
Nasa mata ng tumatanaw ang lalim;
Ang hindi masilip na butas ng solusyon.

Minsan,may nangangahas na sumisid.
Kadalasan hindi naaabot ang layon.
May nakararating ngunit pag-ahon
Sumusuka ng buhangin.

Hindi sa kakayahang lumusong nakasalalay
Ang lahat,kundi sa hangaring maiahon
Ang kubling hininga sa pusod ng dagat.

Matagal na tayong lunod,hindi nga lang ganap.

... pInK tOrMeNt . . .

beaten black and blue,
they want her to be a he.

he is a she.
in her anguish…
in her sadness…she can’t be he.

abominated.
despised.
she quips…
she smiles …
she laughs, no matter what.

he is a she.
and that’s the way it’s gonna be.

(… acceptance is what she pleads for….)

TALYER

Kailangan ko na talagang pumunta sa talyer mamaya
Andami dami na kasi akong napapansing sira
Baka mamaya, titirik na lang sa kalsada bigla
At iiwanan ako dun pa sa pinakagitna

Palagay ko merong leak, patitignan ko
May nararamdaman kasi akong likido
Tulo lang ng tulo, malamang may tagas
Kaya siguro ambilis bilis ko maubusan ng gas

Pati yung wiper ipapaayos ko na rin
Umuulan ulan pa man din
Takaw disgrasya pag wala akong makita
Dahil babagal bagal magpahid ng basa

Sira din yata ang gasolinador ko
Ayaw kasi umusad kahit apakan ng todo
Damay na rin siguro ang preno
Tuloy tuloy lang kasi, at di ko kaagad agad maihinto.

Mas lalong kailangan matignan ang makina
Papalya palya na kasi at hinang hina.
Mukhang bibigay na, ansama sama ng tunog
Sa sobrang gamit, tiyak, kung bakit nabugbog.

Kailangan ko na talagang pumunta sa talyer mamaya
Andami dami na kasi akong napapansing sira
Nagsimula lang to nung iwanan mo ako kanina
Na nakatunganga sa gitna ng daan at nag iisa.

verses for a battered woman...

perturbed and trying to find comfort
in that solitary room…
all she wanted is to bury her face
in that warm soft pillow.

her heart mourns in silence
for the bruises and wounds
inflicted unto her battered body.

and with her shattered dignity,
her essence as a woman painfully craves
for the fragrance
drawn out from the flowers of human respect.

she keeps on asking…
until when she will suffer?
will there ever be time
for mending a broken heart?
will there be place for forgiveness?
for healing?

hatred is now a cloud
shrouding each rays
of her once unconditional love…
and as she hears his dreadful voice
at the other side of the door,
her tired bleeding heart
had shut every emotions connected to him…

that door will no longer be opened.

and to a jaded, tuckered heart…

there's freedom in letting go.

**********************************
Published by Bulatlat (www.bulatlat.com)
Vol. VII, No. 48, January 13-19, 2008

My Only Poem

There’s a riddle in every line,
Thinking what’s really on her mind.
Feeling so deep, yet so divine
Love, a hope that will be mine.

So sweet and so tender,
On every hearth that who may hear
Life on a dying ember,
A Mona Lisa’s smiles to her dear.

How does life is filled with mystery
Is a brainteaser on every reader.
Veins that is full of desire
Only death may entomb to mine.

bulong sa buwan

kung may paran sana upang marinig mo
ang isinisigaw ng damdamin ko..
sana'y naibulong ko na ito.
kung matatangay lamang ng hangin
itong mga halik ko patungo sa mga labi mo,
sana'y naramdaman mo na ang init nito.
kung may paraan sana upang madama mo ang mga yakap ko,
sana'y nakabalot ka na sa mga bisig ko.
kung sana'y sa bawat pagmulat ng mga mata'y
ikaw ang nakikita,
di sana'y ikaw ay kapiling na.
kung may paraan lamang sana..

O.N.S

Unan mo’y mga bisig ko
Sa aandap-andap na ilaw
Kinumutan kita ng yakap
Hingal at kapwa sisinghap-singhap

Salikop ng labi mong bumibigay buhay
Angkin mo’t ayaw mapaghiwalay
Mga anghel kaya’y magalit
Sa mapangahas kong pagpuslit
Sa likurang pintuan ng langit?


Buong lakas kong naisambulat
Sinimot, nilasap mo, ulang kumalat
Pagbuhos ng bugso ng nakaw na saglit
Saan kaya kakanlong, sa bagyong masalimuot

Ngunit haring araw, lulok na sa kanyang trono
Bangon na, bago pa man makahalata ang mundo
Halik ang syang tanging huling gawad
Bago lisanin, unan, kumot, bisig, at nakaw na saglit


***
nanalo yung poem na ONS sa meritage press holiday poetry contest

Bakas ni Hudas

Kuyom yaring palad, sa kamay na may pilak
Larawan ng pagkabata, ano na nga’t nawawala.
Tukso sa kanyang laman, lason din sa isipan
Pilit iwinawaksi sa dilim hinahabi.

Hinubog ng panahon sa nakitang mga hirap
Palabra sa sarili’y dugo ang naging panulat
Lumayag na may bagwis, sa laot napadpad
Lupang pinangarap, sa ganid na hinayupak!

Bitbit tanging alam, Propetang pinagkamalan
Ililigtas daw sila, maging sa kapahamakan
Pinilit maging Malaya, pinaupo ng may sala
Sa limayon ni Magdalena, Hala! Tila naging abala.

Mataas pa sa kalabaw, tingin ay isang paham
Mga bata sa putikan ano baga’t tinuturuan
Huwad kung turingan, hindi nila alam
Sa kamay na may pilak, bitbit kahit saan.

Kristong ipinapako, sa mga Hudyo isinisi
Sa tangan mong pilak anong iyong masasabi
Mag sa Pilato ka man, hugasan maging katawan
Isa ka sa dahilan kung bakit tayo naging ganyan.

twenty minutes...

Standing on a corner…
twenty minutes
before your vow.
I was still hoping
that you won’t come…
but you did.

I will leave the place
with a heavy heart.
tryin’ to imagine
that I am that man
kneeling next to you…

Twenty minutes.
It will soon be over…
and with twenty deep cuts
on my wrist,
perhaps….just perhaps…
the pain will subside.

and everything will be over.

Hiling Ninyo'y Lupa

Hiling Ninyo’y Lupa
(Sa alaala ng mga Martir ng Mendiola Massacre)

Nakatindig akong kasama n’yo
sa balisbisang iyon ng Mendiola…
sa harap ng sementadong tulay
na naghiwalay sa atin mula sa kanila…
silang mga panginoon dito sa lupa,
at tayong mga aliping bumubungkal ng lupa.

Naroon ako.
Anak din ako ng lupa…
at sumusumpa akong wala kayong kasalanan
sa katampalasanang ipinalasap sa inyo
sa madugong araw ng Enerong iyon.

Sumisigaw kayo't humihiling
ng lupa…
ng buhay…
Nais ninyong madama nila
na ang lupa ay inyong buhay…
at ang buhay nyo'y kadugtong na ng lupa.

Hindi kayo nagtungo roon
upang wari'y sumugba sa apoy…
upang kitlan ng hininga…
manapa'y ninais nyo lamang
na madugtungan pa ang inyong buhay.

Wala kayong kasalanan…
para yurakan at barilin ang inyong tanging hiling.
Ang nais lamang ninyo'y lupa.

Nakatindig pa rin ako.
isinisigaw ang hiling n'yo…
HINDI BALA … KUNDI LUPA.
************************************
Inilathala ng Bulatlat (www.bulatlat.com)
Vol. VII, No. 47, January 6-12, 2008

Heart and Mind

To think about on how to fall
Is it a process to crawl?

At start looking
At end comes staring

Then liking
To beside the person always, you’ve wanting

To holding
And helping

To having conversations
A long hour of talking

To that and to remembering
From caring and now loving

Then here it comes, confusing
A question you’ll be asking

From a mind, it’s only a friendly thing
But to a heart it is romantic, you are falling.

Isang Panawagan!!!

Gumawa po ako ng Fun climb Itinerary para na rin sa ating matagal ng inaasam na GEB. Actually, lakad ko po ito talaga itong darating na sunday. Nagbabakasali lang po ako kung may interesadong sumama. Kung sakali mang wala eh tuloy pa rin po ako mag-isa(hehehehe).

ANG PAGTATAGPO NG MGA LIGAW NA MANUNULAT(Part 1)

Fun Climb: Mt. Manalmon/Gola
(Sitio Madlum, Brgy Sibul San Miguel Bulacan)
January 13, 2008
Budget: 800Php(maluho na yan)

Food: Pack Lunch

0600 Kitakits at BALIWAG Terminal Cubao
0700 ETD from Cubao, take bus bound to Cabanatuan (120Php)
1000 ETA Brgy. Kamias, San Miguel; take tricycle to jump-off (P50)
1030 Arrive at jump-off; register and get guides
1100 Packs on back/ Start Trek(adventure begins)
1200 ETA foot of Mt. Manalmon
1300 ETA peak; Chow Yun Fat/Kodakan/Tawanan na walang humpay
1400 Start descent
1500 Back at river maya/ Swimming/kwenthuhan/Merienda/Poetry Reading(Oha!)
1600 Final preparation
1700 ETD from jump-off (point of origin)
1730 ETA Brgy Kamias, San Miguel Bulacan(take bus bound to Pasay)
2100 Nasa bahay na kayo dala ang alaala ng pag-akyat…..

Mga kailangan dalahin:
Pack Lunch and Merienda
2 liters of water
Bag Pack
Kikay Kit(hindi pwede magdala ng blush-on Joke!)
Pack Lunch
Trash Bag/Plastic bag (para sa basang damit)
3 shirts and underwears/ shorts/trekking pants(kung meron)
Trekking shoes/Sandals/Havianas(kung wala kayo nito, ang Rambo Red ay pwede)
Camera (sa mga mahilig magposing-posing)

Paalala:

Sa mga gustong sumama ay iemail po ako sa Likastubig@yahoo.com. Maaari rin po kayong magsama ng inyong mga kaibigan. Siguraduhin lang po na siya ay matino at walang sayad(joke). Ang Mt. Manalmon po ay isa ng National Park kaya panatilihin po nating nasa ayos ang lahat. Maging sensitibo din po tayo sa ating paligid at sa mga taong naninirahan sa paligid nito. Mahigpit pong ipinagbabawal ang bandalismo, pagiingay at pagkakalat sa lugar. Ipinagbabawal din po ang pumutol ng punong kahoy at pagtripan ang mga pananim.
Kayo po ay pinapayuhang magdala ng Trekking Sandals o kaya ay tsinelas(bukod pa sa sapatos) dahil tayo po ay tatawid ng River Maya. Ito po ay para maiwasan na mabasa ang inyong mga sapatos at upang maiwasan na rin ang pangangamoy ng inyong mga paa. Wala pong hiraman ng toothbrush subalit maari pong manghingi ng toothpaste. Pinapayuhan din po ang mga sasama na huwag mag skinny jeans. Tayo po ay tatawid ng ilog kaya ang shorts o salawal ay tunay na kinakailangan. Ang pantalon po ay maaari na ninyong gamitin paguwi. Huwag din po palang kalilimutan ang mga gagamitin ninyo sa inyong pagkain(kutsara at tinidor). Maaari din po kayong magdala ng mga dilata dahil may malulutuan naman po tayo. Picnic style po tayo sa Merienda kaya hati-hati na lang po sa mga dala nating pagkain. Masaya yun diba. AMININ MO!!!

Iemail po ninyo sa akin hanggang Miyerkules ang inyong mga free time at Location this week upang maiSet natin ang Pre-climb. Wala pong magaganap na pag-akyat kung hindi tayo magkakaroon ng Pre-climb. Ito po ay upang maiwasan ang ano mang pagkalito at upang mabigyan kayo ng sapat na kaalaman sa ating gagawing pag-akyat. Hinihingi po ang kooperasyon ng mga taong nais sumama. Lilimitahan din po natin sa 20 katao lamang ang makakasama upang mabigyang ng sapat na pansin ang bawat isa. Ito po ay kukuhanin sa mga makakaattend ng Pre-climb. Maraming salamat po at maligayang pag-iisip. Godbless!!!


Trivia:

Ang Mt. Manalmon ay may taas na 196+ MASL(ayon sa pinoy mountaineer group) at isa mga paborito ng mga mamumundok. Bukod kasi sa ganda ng mga tanawin ay malakas din ang hatak ng Madlum River na tunay naming kaaya-aya ang pagligo. Ang bundok na ito ay nananahan sa Brgy Sitio Madlum, San Miguel Bulacan. Bukod pa sa ilog at bundok ay marami din ditong kweba o cave. Madlum Cave, Bayukbok Cave(pinaka-sikat na cave dito) at Victoria cave. Maaari din itong puntahan ng kung sino-man nagnanais makapasok dito. Ipagbigay alam lamang ito sa inyong giya(guide) upang maihanda ang mga kailangan gamitin.

Ang lugar ding ito ay paborito ng GMA 7(kapuso) na pagkuhanan ng mga teleserye at iba pa nilang programa. Dito kinuhanan ang pelikulang Mulawin at ilang eksena sa ZAIDO(“bakat” ang tawag ng isa kong kaibigan babae). Dito rin kinuhan ang mga ilang eksena sa Extra Challenge ni Paolo Bediones at ilang programa na plano sa akin ibigay ng Kapuso(hahaha). Pananim na gulay at Lungaw(paggawa ng uling) ang ilan sa kanilang pinaghahanapbuhayan.

Eko-Turismo:

Sa tulong ng Miriam PEACE, Peace Corp Volunteers, Philippine Australian Community Assistance Program at DENR ay bumuo sila ng barkadahan na tinatawag na MADLUM CAVE GUIDE GROUP. Isa ito sa mga nakalaban ng Street Boys nung araw(joke). Ang MCGG ay ang nagsisilbing giya ng mga turistang gustong pumasok ng cave, mag-camping at iba pa.

Ang ilan pa sa mga nasimulan ng “barkadahan” nila ay ang “communal” fishpond particular na ang tilapia at paggawa ng bamboo handicrafts/souvenirs. Sa kasalukuyan, ang pangteknikal na aspeto ng kanilang kabuhayan ay nagmumula sa mga unibersidad ng UP Los Banos at CLSU sa Nueva Ecija. May ugnayan din sa ibat’-ibang ahensya ng gobyerno katulad ng Department of Agriculture.

(Ang mga impormasyon ay mula sa M.A.D.L.U.M. Inc.,)



Tara na………….



Kuha ni:ZKEY