MaRyJaNe . . . Usok ng Kahinaan

padayukdok na ilalapit
ng eratiko’t nanginginig n’yang kamay
upang buong kasiyahang ipaglunoy
sa nanunuyong lalamunan.

hitit…

buga…

hitit at buga pa…

baka-sakaling itakas siya
ng laway na nilulunok
palayo sa kasukalan ng bagabag…
sa pusali ng walang katapusang pagsubok.

hakbang papalayo
ang bawa’t hitit…
ang bawat lunok…
ang bawat buga pailanlang
ng kumekembot, humalakhak na sungayang usok.

kakapit siyang nakangiti pa-lipad sa alapaap.
makikipagtawanan sa mga bituin.
ihahanap ng kagaanan
ang samu’t saring tinik sa damdamin.

paulit-ulit…
palipat-lipat…
pahalakhak niyang isasakay ang kanyang ulirat
sa nagsasalubungang ulap.
kakatagpuin ang sarili
sa hiwalay na mundong nais nyang likhain.

at sa mapungay at kulay-dugong mata…
pakunwaring magtatago at tatakas
ang luray niyang katawan na naghahanap ng laya
upang gulantangin lamang ng katotohanang
itatambad ng kunot-noong araw…

sa kanyang paggising

sarili pala niyang mga kamay ang kanyang iginapos…

sa usok ng kanyang kahinaan.

Bedspacer Sa Buwan

Kasabay kong umuuwi
Ang mga pundidong alitaptap.
Diyan kami galing madalas
Sa The Fort, naglalambitin
Sa kalansay ng mga ginagawang
Gusali ni Ayala-Zobel,
Humihiga sa nangingiliting
Dilim na nakasingit sa damuhan,
Lumalanghap sa hamog
Ng tambutso at karbon
Ng mga paniking
Haypertensib.

Lahat ay umiilaw sa aking yakap
Habang kadantay ang mga ukab
Sa kamang kulang na ng isang paa.
Hindi naman ako gumugulong sa lapag
Kahit pa sobrang tingkad ng mga ipis.
Pagkat nagniningning ako sa gitna
Ng malaking kreyter ng bumbilya,
Nanghihiram ng liwanag
Upang kahit papaano
Ay bumalanse ang munti
Kong kislap: nagpapanatiling
Gising habang tulog lahat
Ng bituin sa natutunaw
Na tsokolate ng
Aking kisame.

LUst IS YOur Last

I the angry and the desperate
Never have you till then
You made your self-close

You intimidator
Make me desperate
Provoking, hatred

Selfish hoodwink
You only heed for what you feel

As I show my existence
You never care what it was

What kind of mortal are you?
You evildoer, monster at my bed
You are the great nightmare of my life

You bring me self-pity
As you know that am craving for you
You put your self on forward

Never thinking I was there
You only see me through out your
dilemma

I hate you
Finest word to say

I hate you
My body is on tremor
Angry, slowly coating my soul

My teeth gnashing
Coz of pain you've left

Speechless
No sounds
Heart palpitate
Reminding me that am still breathing

This will be kept
As I know you


Sorry…

Pag-ibig ni Batman

Hindi ako kasing tapang ng bayani o Superhero
Wala akong lakas ng loob upang lumaban
Kung tutuusin duwag din ako't walang kapangyarihan
Birtud ko lamang ay ang aking dasal
At pakikidaumpalad sa pagal kong
kaluluwang lumilipad sa kawalan,
Nanghuhuli ng pigtal na bituin
Ngunit walang ibang makita kundi lambong
ng mga ulap
habang nakamasid ang pingas na buwan,
habang kinakapa sa kaibuturan ng dibdib
ang damdaming dito ay nakasilid
Ibig mang pakawalan ay walang magawa
Ngunit bukas babangon
ako't magbabagong bihis
Pag-ibig ay sasambulat sa iyong harapan
Tuad ng pagsamvbulat ng dugo't laman
'Pagkat damdamin ay 'di maikukubli
Ng hungkag na pagkukunwaring
'di kita mahal
Kung ibigin mo man ako o hindi
ay bahala na si Batman!

...backspace...

Iniib < . . .
…iniiba na lang ang usapan pag kaharap ka na.
laging ganun...lalo na ‘pag sukol na talaga
ng mga titig mo ang namumungay kong mata…

Inii < . . .
….iniimbento na lang ang mga dahilan
ang mga pakunwaring paalam na may pupuntahan.
kathang-isip na kwento sa syotang hindi naman,
at text messages na pinapadala sa sarili na lang.
(di mai-send sa’yo, sa takot na iyong pagtawanan)

Iniibig k < . . .
…iniibig ko ang Pilipinas, ito ang aking lupang sinilangan…
(blah…blah...blah….et cetera…et cetera…)
tumalsik na lang sana ang sa keyboard ko,
para masabi ko ng diretso ang laman ng dibdib ko!

… di ako maka-< Esc > sa feelings ko
… di kita ma-< Delete > sa puso ko.

ang tanong sa kanila-freeverse

ang bagal ng buhay
bawat minuto ramdam
ihip ng hangin, mga ibon at awitin.
mga letrang nasa mata lamang nakatatak
galing sa ibat ibang tanawin
sariling hinga ng buhay naagda
anu pa nga ba ang dapat makita?
upang sa titik ito'y iukit.
ako, tayo madaling makakita..
panu ang ibang taong mababaw ang paniniwala
sa letra man o titik na nakahibla
dapat ko bang ipinta
bawat salita na aking nadadama?
kung maari lamang kasama sa panulat ay pintura
kung saan lalabas litratong buhay at di nabubura
kung ganun sana lahat ay may paniniwala
sa simpleng letra masasabi nila" ito ay maganda".

STORY OF A ONE MAN

A story:
One day there was this man
He was all alone in the world he created for himself and to none
He plan his world out from his great imagination
He created it as if he is the god
He planted joys of trees and everything from it
Along with the creatures from above of heaven to the waters of ocean
Then he made rocks and riches of lone

It was a perfect world…

He wanders
From the vast’ness of the his lands
His sands
His oceans
His all
His creation

And so he got tired
How deeply it was he got tired.. he felt it..
It was coming from inside
Not from his skin
Nor from his heavens
He thought of it as a conflict of his being
He struggle to live
He struggle until he was numb

He was numb and back again
Blood from him
He was a thirst of blood suckers of death eaters

He seeks for something
He cannot knows it
Until he would gone wandering and wonder was his being
He floats himself to the skies
He grasp the sand to his hands
He eats the foods in the lands
Tasted the bitterness of oceans
From the lake of waters
There he saw..finally he saw
This is isn’t me I know
From the reflection he speaks
I need you”
From reflection it answers
Come seek me to come to you”
From there he draws
A figure of a person..
A creation to perfectly being
Now his not one to see

The lady awoke
From where was i?”
The man answers, from my heart you were
And you need me?
I do not..
And why do I came
I do not know..

He can’t for he doesn’t know
The answers to his own question
It was his creation
Yet the formula wasn’t that magically answers everything
Yes he holds power to create
but out of everything from him
is an unknown things
and he cant know and he doesn’t know

..from his feelings to inner skins
He felt sudden sadness
Bitterness
Eyes were sober of fox
From the sand to the air
It flew
It whispers to him
Grasp me now
To his soul it aims
He felt it

..just like the air,,,he created it but not to feel..
But you see he felt..

He felt it..
And now..

Ah I know now..
I feel..
I seek
I need
I ask
I am..

And so I need you lady
I need you..

..he folds his hand to hers
Can you feel the warmth?..

That’s the answer to everything..

Then he found his another, a part of his being.a partner.
-end-